Quick update.

First of all, HAPPY 2015!
Although it's late for like 1 month and 5 days, but consider the fact that I remember to blog is such a good moment. Haha.

So well, I don't know what happen either. So many things happen, yet I not sure of myself how to start either. I want to write it down, everyday that happen. But, it's not that easy when you don't have the mood at all. I guess I'm too obsessed with playing games and watching dramas. Oh well, hmm, what you wanna know?

Right, my studies. Thank god I passed all my subjects.
I really fear that I might failed at least 1 or 2 subjects because I know for myself that I did pretty badly. However, the results turn out to be fine and there is even one subject which surprises me. I never knew I could get such score. Haha. But ya, you could say I'm satisfy with my results. :D

Holiday? So I'd been starting my holiday since 5th Dec (Fri). My class will resume next month though, so I doubt I'll be able to blog again. Sometimes studies make u go crazy and you just cannot take it. Oops. My holiday during December was quite a lovely one cause I got like 5-6 birthday celebration with different gang of peoples including family, friends and relatives. Not to mention this year all my birthday presents are superb awesome! I love each and everyone of them. Once again, thanks to everyone for their gifts.! :) Hmm, after my birthday celebration, will be outings with my girl friends during winter solstice festival and countdown to new year. Oh oh oh! Comic Fiesta in KLCC! Weee. I get to meet my baby rice, usagi and lots of friends. :D Happy. and it was also my first time partnering with my husband, Setsuna for Magico's characters.

Then during January, I also manage to experience my first ever movie marathon with a bunch of girl friends which I find it really cool and funny. We laugh, we cry, we share the moments together. Our first movie was The Neighbour, which content a little adult thingy, but I don't know why we just laugh all the way w/o feeling embarrass or anything. Our second movie was English Vinglish. Well, it's a movie from Bollywood but it's a good movie as they mix different languages around and also it's a very touching movie. We cried. We angry. Hahaha, crazy right? Then 3rd movie was The Dictatorship, but we failed to watch the whole movie and there was no subtitles and we were basically starting to fall asleep, so everyone just take a break and wait for dinner. After dinner we watched The Divergent which I found is so exciting and cool. Hahaha.

After that outing will be a 3D2N Langkawi trip with my gfs though. Since then I don't go out that much and just stay at home. Not to forget that I YOLO-ed a lot during INTIMA week. I cosplay to school for the first time. It was also my first time cosplay w/o make up. And not to forget that I'm finally doing Mio Akiyama like since forever. Hahaha. Hope to cosplay as Misaki Ayuzawa soon. ^^
I still remember the day which I had a wonderful experience watching movie alone. :DD
It was so fun that I hope I will do it again in the near future. :)

What's most exciting about february? Valentines! CNY!
YAY! NAY! Hahaha, fyi, I feel like doing something special on Valentines. Stupid, extraordinary, yet memorable. I wonder what I should do to enjoy this single day? :P

-MsYukiKay
-5/2/2015
-2.55am
Gosh, I really need to adjust my body clock already. It's really insane that I couldn't fall aslp at this hour. :(

"Stubborn is my middle name"

-四叶草

"There are people I wish to defend, there are things I wish to protect!"

-Magico (Shion)

In the midst of thinking

I guess getting sick really calm someone's mind and heart?
These few days also busy a bit, relax a bit,
but most importantly stayed in bed for few days. LoL! Hahahaha

Few days ago, saw one of my college mates posting a website.. n it kinda scares me to be honest.
The website contains pictures of girls only, and not only one girl, but many hundred of girls.
When I was happening to scroll down the page, I even saw many of my ex-juniors.
My college mates was  one of the victims and she said most of the pictures were came from her old blog.
Rmb I said about updating my blog with those future post? Well, I not sure if I should upload to blog anymore. I mean I wanna update my blog again. as lively as I could.
Cause it's really good to keep them as memories. :)
I scare someday I'll forget all the details because each of the events are special to me! <3
I hope whenever I read back, I'll be able to smile! :X

Btw, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Hahahaha
Oh well, just a post for me to 发泄..

-MsYukiKay
-31/10/14
-10.39pm
Seeing the form 5 posting their graduation photos, it kinda reminds me that time flies.. so fast another year gonna end soon..I wonder what will be waiting for me next year? Haha

Finally awoken from a long dream

荒废了一年多，不知道还有没有人来参观呢？
其实也不知道要说什么，就很想写一写东西，
好让这个部落格重启生命！:X

你们，过得好吗？
我，还好呢。
最近少了恐惧，恐吓，日子过得还不错。
有大家的陪伴，即时再难熬，也会有那种动力继续坚持。

读书日子嘛，除了忙，还是忙。
不过再忙也会有一班好姐妹愿意抽时间一起逛逛街，唱唱K，哈拉胡说八道。
这段日子，自从选择自由后 [这个若有空我才写发生什么事]，
我开始学会了很多道理，最重要的是我学会了珍惜。
在我最需要朋友的时候，个个都撑我、支持我、甚至为我打抱不平；一切都铭记于心。
满满的感动，却不知要怎样报答。

不知道是不是我的错觉还是我多心，我开始变得很客气了。真的很客气很客气。
也开始变得安静，不怎么叽喳。虽然也会有三八的时候，可是却变得很安静了。
虽说安静，可是很多时候我的脑袋都是空白一片。
不懂这是不是叫所谓的 "inner peace"? XDD 果真思想太不可思议了。
有时候还真的希望能听一听别人对我评价是什么，
因为太多的事情发生了，我也一直很担心自己的决定是否正确，是否明智的选择。
我知道朋友支持我，也给了我很多劝告，可是，好希望有人坦白告诉我，我是不是也做错了什么？

如果你问我，近期会不会有什么特别的东西要降临了，
我只会告诉你，我很期待将会举办的Award Ceremony. :X
上次因考试而无法出席，这次我一定要去！Foundation的时候去了，体验了。
现在是degree，当然也要尝试一轮~而且这次又有Ah wen & Ah ma 陪！^^ 好开心呢~

好啦，今天到此为此啦。等我想到要写什么就会来update update下。

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-
TO-WRITE list in future post

1) Melaka trip with wafer family
2) Sunway Lagoon trip with the trio
3) MidValley outing with jie (short) (perhaps)
4) My 1st time overnight in the haunted libraryyyy :X (perhaps)
5) AMG & Animenz concert
6) Cameron Highland with family & relatives (perhaps)
7) Penang trip with Romaji (Jan 2014)
8) Singapore trip with cousin (Jan 2014)
9) The post of freedom
10) Winx Club, ain't nobody too old for cartoons

I not sure if there's more, cause I can't remember and I duno when I can update all the future post mentioned above :'D HAHAHA This is what u get when you don't update ur blog often enough.

-MsYukiKay
-28/10/2014
-12.27am
Everyday is a beautiful day, cause there's nothing more precious than living your life to the fullest :)

Smile, because it's light of life.

- 四叶草

"The world might stop turning and the sky might be falling, but my life will keep going cause I got you"

- Future love

并不是所有的疼痛，都可以呐喊。

隔上次写部落的日期看来，已经将近半年没写了。

读者们，你们好吗？

上次写的文章是献给妈妈，这次，就献给爸爸...

-------------------------------------------------------------

致 ：亲爱的爸爸

爸爸，如果你无意间看到这篇文章的时候，可否想象我心里是多么的难受。

强忍着眼泪，硬着把这篇文章打出来。

可否考虑下，这几天的心情，我是如何的度过。

PS : 如果任何亲戚看到的话，可以不要多问也可以不要插手吗？我不想因为我的心声，而造成什么问题。也不想添加什么麻烦。这是我的部落，我只是想发泄，请尊重我的决定。当然也不要你们那么多嘴，到处讲这件事，毕竟是我家的事。我不需要你们的批评来告诉我们，应该怎么做。还有就是我不是在胡闹，我很清楚自己在做什么。如果你觉得我在讽刺，还是得罪你们，请你离开这个部落格网站。

从小到大，我都把你当作偶像一样。就如孩子们都常会称赞爸爸一样：“爸爸是我最尊敬的人。” 我不懂如何描述我对你的崇拜与尊敬，可是我只懂这一句话：我爱你。

虽然有时候我的脾气不好，可是你没有骂我，只是默默地不出声。我知道，你很疼我的。我要的，从未缺乏过任何东西。在此感谢你对我的疼爱；谢谢你，爸爸。

我不知道我有没有做尽女儿的责任，所以也在此向你道歉；对不起，爸爸。

即使如此，我很难接受这样的你。

在妈妈最后的日子里，我感觉到的是你很爱很爱妈妈。我感受到的，我的心不是盲的。妈妈不在后，你的低落，我知道。想安慰你，多陪你，却做不好。

偶尔看到你想东西想到出神的时候，知道你想妈妈了。哈哈哈。。我觉得妈妈很幸福，因为有一个这么爱她的男人陪她走完这世了。我还以为妈妈的离去，不会改变家庭的什么。也许当然少了一个人，我却不觉得孤单，因为我还有哥哥们，也还有您，爸爸。至少，我们有的是彼此。虽然我们一家人还是会因为一些事而发生不合，但我也觉得足够了；因为我不想再失去任何人，只能一直珍惜现在。一直单纯的认为，我们以后都会这样过日子.... 却发现我错了。

最近，一直有提到一个话题，那就是如果你再找多一个人，我会怎样？

我想都不想，就说我不要。就一直很反抗。。。

你就问我，是不是怕虐待，我就很假装的说是，你就回答我，哎哟，你怕什么？你都19了，算是自由了。

我们当然不怎么多聊这个话题，却差不多隔一两天又再说这个话题，我也以为，以为只是假设性的问题。

直到那天，你带我们三兄妹去“见”她。在没有通知我们的情况下，带我们去见她和她的孩子了。我以为是去那个餐厅是庆祝你的belated生日，所以我也特地打扮漂亮出去。如果我知道是见她的话，我也不想浪费那么多心思了。你知道那一晚，我多么想离开吗？你知道我的心很难受很难受吗？我根本不想面对这事实。大家的对话，都是出自于礼貌。很礼貌的回答。我可以很老实的说，和她做个朋友是绝对没问题；可是要接受她成为我家庭的一部分，对不起，我做不到。你坚持说你们是朋友，可是逃不了我的眼睛。你们的一举一动，绝对不是朋友那么简单。

我只想问爸爸，妈妈到底离开了多久？半年都不到耶！结婚了超过25年的夫妻，原来可以那么快的放下她并开始另一段恋情哦？说实话我并不反对，如果你真的要找另一个女人。因为老了很容易寂寞，总得找个伴。我明白，非常的明白。可是有寂寞到这种地步吗？寂寞到只在半年内，就找了新的伴。连我，19岁的我，都很难放得下妈妈。有时候，会忽然想起以前的时光。你可以说我是个很念旧的人，可是有谁会不怀念？自己最亲的人离开了，谁都会难过。

我没有质疑你对妈妈的爱不深，只是有必要吗？

我以为，也许至少几年后你才会找新欢。。。。。。。

Are you that desperate to have a woman by your side? Do you really need a woman that much?

以为，全都是以为。我以为家庭是不会有任何改变。

爸爸，可不可以听听我的心声啊？我好痛苦啊。。。我不解，为什么你可以那么快丢下妈妈了。。。。。？

我不缺母爱，因为我还有父爱。知足，总令我觉得自己很幸福快乐了。

我也不需一个外人来管我生活的点点滴滴，因为对你来说我已经算是自由了。

这应该就是我和她的差别吧？

她，可以陪你。这个我做不到，因为爸爸怎么可能向女儿倾诉呢？我明白阿，因为每次我问你什么事，你总是说没事。我当然不敢多问。

她，可以填满你的寂寞。她能做的事，身为女儿的我做不到，因为辈分的问题。有时候很羡慕朋友们的家人，因为可以很可爱的对孩子说，我想你了，然后还给他一个拥抱。是我们沟通有问题吗？

现在的我，很讨厌回家。有时候真的宁愿呆在学校也不愿回家。

家，对我来说很陌生。听着你和她的事，我觉得很陌生。

每次听到你谈到这个话题，不知你是否听的见我的反抗？是否听的见我的心，一直在碎。

我知道这几天我对你的态度很冷很冷；我也知道自己的行为已伤害了你，我自己也很心疼，很难受。可是，我真的很想让你知道，你正在要我接受一件非常痛苦的事情。

我很想大大声告诉你，我只是要回我的家，并不需要什么改变。

还记得刚刚在车上你问我的问题吗？

你：12月有没有假期啊？

我：有啊，为什么？

哥：爸爸说想带你去旅行哦！去香港or台湾。

我：哇，不错啊！

你知道当时的我多么的兴奋吗！你知道我很想去香港很久了。

依旧记得在我小学3年级还是4年级的时候，你说过，如果我的成绩拿到第一名的话，就带我去香港的disneyland（因为那时候刚新开）。我就很开心的把这个约定写在一张纸，并叫你签名，证明我们的约定。第二名就不懂去哪里，第三就去槟城。那年我拿不到第一，只拿到了第三；所以只去了槟城。可是还是希望，总有那么一天，你会带我去。我终于等到了。却被你的一句破坏了。。。

你：她也有去哦~！ 还有她的儿子！

哈哈哈，我听了过后。想都不想的说不了。原来，还是因为她。那种心情，难以形容。只能把自己的情绪隐藏起来... 哈哈哈哈，我等了那么多年。别人的出现，就说去旅行了。我宁愿等多几年，几十年，也不要跟其他人去。我不介意只有我们俩去，全家人去我也喜欢。可不可以，不要一直想尽办法让我去接受她吗？

在你想把她介绍给我们的时刻，可否考虑下，我是否接受的了。

爸爸，你要知道的事是，明白和成全根本是两回事啊！

你接受的了，哥哥接受的了，不代表我也得接受她！不代表我赞同你在这个时候就找到新欢了！我明白你的寂寞，我明白；我也很清醒的站在你的立场想过。可是我真的做不到，我真的办不到，那种痛苦我受不了。

我也有我的立场，我的想法；可不可以为孩子们着想下？

我这样说，大家一定觉得我很坏很自私吧？....

爸爸，不知我说了这么多，你听到了吗？:'D

与其用那些小动作，可以用心去感受下我的心情吗？

我没有很坚强，我也只是个拥有脆弱的心的女孩。

-MsYukiKay

-30/4/13

-22.38pm

我要的很简单，并没有很复杂。

I know you're moving on with your life, doesn't mean you have to find a new lover to prove it.

并不是所有得疼痛，都可以呐喊

妈，我爱你！:')

现在写这个文的同时，我不懂几时会得空了。
最近很忙很忙，下次到底又会是几时，我不知道。

----------------------------------------------------------------

人的生命，还真的很脆弱。
玻璃碎了，还可以买新的。
东西不见了，还是可以找回的。
如果人死了，是你一生人中都找不回的，买不回的。
我只能说：“世事难料。”
这几个星期，还真的不知道怎样活过来。
平常那些你都习惯见的人，如果突然有一天消失了，那是多么可怕的事？

之前，我真的选择逃避。宁愿迟回家，不想面对家中的一切。
宁愿假装什么都不知道，扮的一切都不在乎的样子。
其实我真的不知道该做些什么，每次见他们都眼红红...
都会想到自己是不是很冷血？我就是那个没有眼睛红红的...

这几天，都见了不少亲戚。一个两个走的时候都是拥有同样的眼神。
每次看见这种眼神，自己虽然也想哭。
可是我不想哭，我不想在妈妈面前崩溃。我知道妈妈最担心我。。。
所以，无论如何，都要笑。
我不懂这样的我，到底给了大家怎样的印象。
我只是知道，今天和姐姐（表哥的女友）聊天的时候，被她称赞我是个很特别的女孩。
“很多人遇见这种情况时，都已经崩溃/不知所措。唯有你，还可以很冷静。”
她也没有忘记补上一句：“看得出你是个很有耐心的人。”
这句话的，到底包含的意思是什么，我不知道。
耐心，很少人这样说我，因为我清楚明白自己的性格是如何。
其实那时候很想告诉姐姐，我没有你们想象中那么坚强。
在坚强的背后，到底拥有着怎样的伤痛，无人知道。

一天比一天的虚弱，一天比一天的瘦。
连讲话的模糊了，连睡觉的时候都会自言自语了，
连神智也不清醒了，连话题都可以回到20年前的东西。
其实心里有数了，只是大家都不肯去接受这事实吧。
不是不肯接受，应该是说没有想过那么快吧。
是我看得太透，还是太无知了？
如果让别人知道我有这种想法，是否会憎恨我？
有时候，真的很希望妈妈能早一点什么，好让她不再那么辛苦。
好让她从一切的痛苦中找到解脱。
可是，我也很矛盾的希望她能活久一点。

生活，并不是靠你的意志力强就能生存的一种原则。

我只是想说：“妈，一路来，谢谢你的相伴。这18年以来，我们当然有闹过，吵过，笑过，哭过；不过我很庆幸有你在。因为你，我体会到人生大道理也体会到凡事都要对得起自己还有良心，脚要踏实地，还有就是我已经长大了！不需你为我而操心了！你安心好吗？:) 身边的人看到你那么痛苦，也不尽默默地在掉泪。就连很少探望你的二哥，忽然哭了。可见他也和我一样，选择逃避了。等到事情严重了，才会发现事情的严重性。

在所有人的眼中，你就是个很强的女人，也很固执（某方面）。
在我眼中，你和普通的女人一样，都是一样脆弱的。
有几次，你在我面前哭了。我也不知该怎么安慰，只能静静等你发泄完才走。
最怕就是拿纸巾给你，因为你一定会以那种凶恶的眼神看着我然后把纸巾抢过来。 X.X
妈，我最开心的时候就是和你一起看戏，还有弄饼干/月饼的时候！
制作饼干虽然很辛苦，可是就是很有默契的。一转眼，就弄好了。:D

妈，不知道我有没有对你说过“我爱你”？如果没有，很希望你能听到我的心声。
无论过去有很多的不满，不过我还是那个你最疼爱的女儿。:D
妈，能不能好起来啊？能不能给我一个奇迹啊？12月通常都是代表着Magic.

女儿，琪    上

2012年12月17日

凌晨12点49分

My 1st Academic Rewards

On fri which is on the 9th of Nov.
I was invited for the academic's reward for scoring good grades in my sem1.
Well, I didnt expect anything since my family said my grades is consider low.
It's a real shock when I receive letter. LOL
Furthermore, I was never the type of the nerd kind of ppl.
My studies were never great in my highschool. = ="

Even when I get the letter, my family will give me the face like *unbelievable*
Well, kinda disappoints me with their reaction. =/
It's like the feeling of you'll never be good enough for them.
No matter what you do, it's just not good enough.

Oh well, like I said. It's just a very small ceremony
n give me certificate for scoring good grades.
All you have to do is just went up on the stage n shake hands with any of the VIPs
and smile to the camera for duno how many secs then walked down.
N yea, I dun even know if my dad got take any photos. Hahahaha.

I only got one pic btw, from my fren's instagram. :)

There's only four of us that represent our E-class. *shocked*
Cause others classes like a lot. =___= Omggggg.
All 4 of us got Dean's Honor Roll, which is scoring a CGPA of 3.5 and above.
I found out that if you score 4.0, it'll be President's Honor Roll.
I think our class will aim that in this coming sem. #teehee

That's all for today. :P
Cya readers n take care! It's been raining daily... =/


-MsKay
-12/11/12
-1.47pm
A woman's beauty is actually confidence.

Dream big while you're still a kid.

-Sailor Moon

Late update : Yeo's factory [2/11]

Hmm yea.. it's been long since I update sth.
So damn lazy and so freaking busy. = ="

Right, gonna update abt the Yeo's factory.

After class, we went to PJ's old town.
PS : It's not old town white coffee, it's actually a food court.
But every1 called it old town, I wonder why?
Oh well, the MOST famous is the ice kacang of cuz,
but I din eat la, just act like I save money.

Then, it's heavy rain. Bwahaha. =__=
Nth funny abt it since me and jason got splash by a car.
Once again, thx jason.. if it wasnt for him, I'll be soaked like him. #LOL
Reached Yeo's factory, Take a lot of random photos.

N we did a video.
Video is not with me, it's with jezz since he's gonna edit it.
PS : We made a video cause of our business presentation... >w<

Well, tired tired tired. N ....let me check which photos can be viewed by u guys. :P

Sorry readers, a lot cannot be viewed due to we need to be secret until my presentation is over.
So sad that every1 gonna miss the funniest part. D:
Hehehe. So I guess that's all?

-MsKay
-12/11/12
-1.29pm
Left one more month... Hmm... wondering what should I get?
Btw, got my ICT results, I get 10.8 for my test 2! God damn happy
eventhough it's not the top yet. :S

Statistic test went okok, but many questions careless mistakes lo *sob sob*
And and my econs went ok i think? Just wandering what did the teacher think?

Now left accounts & business studies. Wish me luck. >w<